By LeVoyd L. Carter, II
September 13, 2006
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“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18 (NIV)
There will be times in our lives when we will experience pain at the hands of the ones we love most. That pain may come as a result of poorly thought out decisions or a lack of patience on our part. At other times, the pain may be a result of other people (those we love most) being selfish and too self-absorbed to realize that their decisions and actions impact others significantly.
This type of pain can debilitate its victims physically, mentally and/or spiritually. For example, we have all been there for a close friend or relative after a fresh breakup with a significant other as they experience symptoms of physical illness. Some cry until there are no more tears; others vomit uncontrollably as they attempt to deal with the pain and disappointment; there are those of us who revert to blaming themselves or asking God, “Why me”; there are those who take the pain of relationships to the extreme by isolating themselves and inflicting physical wounds in their flesh and sometimes they may even have thoughts of suicide or revenge.
Regardless of the catalyst that causes the resulting pain, we all have the power to make the best decision(s) under the circumstances. As rational adults, we must sometimes make the decision that is right despite how it may make you feel in the short term (yuck). For example, if you were to find out that your spouse or significant other was or is being unfaithful, how would you react? What if you found out your spouse or significant other impregnated or was impregnated by someone else, how would you react? (PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK ABOUT THESE QUESTIONS and record your answers in the comments section of this message below) Many of us would be led by our anger and a deep sense of betrayal to do things in the heat of passion that could hurt us, our families and potentially land us in jail or the grave.
Some believe in the saying, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” I differ with that opinion. I believe revenge is a dish that is not worth the time, energy or risks necessary to serve it at all. In other words, what do you have to gain from causing another person just as much pain as that person may have caused you to suffer? The honest answer is nothing.
Now, I am not saying if you see harm or danger approaching not to heed the warning signs and move out of the way or defend yourself as necessary – by all constructive means, do so. Nevertheless, I am saying have the where with all to face the pain, recognize it for what it is and summon up the courage to move forward in a positive way. Do so without carrying the negative baggage from the past to continue to inflict pain upon you and others. Exercise “your power” to begin to heal yourself immediately and waste none of the most precious asset you have in life, “time” devising how you will serve a dish that will ultimately leave you unhappy, unfulfilled and wanting.
Further, have the courage to look within yourself to find out what you could have done differently under the circumstances to avoid or minimize the negative results and/or the pain. Were there signs and/or warnings that something was going wrong? Did you have an opportunity to change your behavior and actions (something well within your control) in light of the situation and circumstances that may have resulted in a different outcome? Did you create false expectations regardless of the truth and the facts that rest before you? In other words, ask as many questions of yourself as is necessary to find the truth or the light (positive lessons) from the negative occurrence. Apply the light or good to your life going forward and likewise alleviate the negative characteristics, negative habits and excuses from your life.
Life is a finite gift; do not waste it on foolishness. Face your pain and deal with it in a non-destructive manner. Take your experiences, learn from them (do not stay fixated and/or stagnant in the negative muck and mire) and make better and more informed decisions in the future. The immediate pain will surely subside and pass away for a season and then it will rise up again under different circumstances to test your will and your power to make positive decisions. I trust that you will think of this message when you make those positive decisions no matter what the negative situation and/or circumstance. Peace, Love & Blessings.
(*To the reader, please consider forgiving those who have caused you pain and begin the healing process while you enjoy life. Feel free to write your note of forgiveness in the comments section below.)
LeVoyd’s Special Note of Forgiveness: To all of those who I have hurt by way of my actions whether justified or not, I sincerely apologize and ask for your forgiveness. For those who have hurt me by way of your actions whether justified or not, I forgive you and wish you nothing but the best.
Copyright ©2006 by LeVoyd L. Carter
All Rights Reserved
4 comments:
Exceptional summation Levoyd....and one I'm sure we all can relate to and learn from. Personally, I conclude that the root of all "pain", in the context by which you eloquently express it, is selfishness. Most decision(s) we make everyday are covered with a cloak of selfish motivations. These motivations are what guide human beings' decision making, with little or no regard for those that might be affected (family, friends, etc.).
If I found out my mate committed adultery and/or impregnated someone, I am not sure what my reaction would be. I could only assume from where I stand emotionally and spiritually now at this time of my life what my reaction would be.
Of course, I know I will experience numbness because the devastation of betrayal is very impactful. Secondly, I am sure I will experience anger, not just because of what happened, but the fact that now I will have to deal with all the emotions that are sure to occur, and the impact of those emotions can be a bit too much to bear at times. Sometimes I rather stay numb then to deal with the emotions.... the emotions themselves can hurt even more so.
Now if the mate were making every effort beforehand to work on the marriage/relationship, then I would be more inclined to give it an honest try. However, if the attitude of the mate, was one of selfishness and pride; an unwillingness to work things out and to just live your life as if I did not exist, then I do not think I personally, could not accept this type of person with such an arrogance/prideful heart back into my life.
However, and there are many "however’s" when it comes to the all-powerful LOVE you can never honestly say what you will do unless you are truly confronted with such a situation.
I definitely agree about not holding onto anger and forgiving the other person, that is a must. Once you free someone, then you set yourself free.
When it comes to trials/sufferings, the true tragedy is not in the suffering or the trial; it is not learning from the experience that is the tragedy.
Again Mr. Carter, very well written as all your entries are and well received. I find myself looking forward to the next article or blog.
I'm also in agreement with the content (and principles behind the content) of the words you write/speak. For me - foirgiveness is both internal and external. I generally choose to generate the internal forgiveness that prevents transgressions from eating away at my humanity. However I don't automatically extend forgiveness to others if they fail or refuse to either acknowledge or change their behavior. Having been crafted in the image of God, I believe that we should operate as He does. It is my belief that He willingly extends forgiveness and salvation to those who acknowledge their sins and seek Him.
ARE WE LIVING THE DREAM?.... OR ARE WE DROPPING THE BALL
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. HAD A DREAM!
I SPOKE TO CHILDREN ABOUT THE DREAM, JUST WANTING TO KNOW WHAT THIS GENERATION FELT ABOUT THE DREAM, AND WHAT THEY WERE DOING TO LIVE THE DREAM.
YOU WOULD BE ASTONISHED BY WHAT I HEARD FROM THE MOUTHS OF THE NEXT GENERATION.
THEY IDENTIFY WITH MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. AS THE MAN WHOSE BIRTHDAY THEY GET A DAY OFF FROM SCHOOL IN JANUARY.
ODDLY ENOUGH NONE OF THEM HAVE ANY INKLING WHAT DREAM I WAS TALKING ABOUT. IT WOULD SEEM THAT THEY DON'T TEACH VERY MUCH ABOUT IT IN SCHOOL THESE DAYS. THEY SING THE SONGS AND THEY CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY BUT THEY DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT THE HECK THE DREAM IS AND A LOT OF THEM DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MARTIN STOOD FOR...THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE MARCHES, THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT SELMA, THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE STRUGGLE MARTIN AND HIS PEERS HAD TO ENDURE.
THEY CAN TELL YOU THE WATERED DOWN VERSION OF HOW ROSA PARKS WOULD'NT GIVE UP HER SEAT...ODDLY ENOUGH THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUSS WAS ABOUT..TO THEM IT'S JUST A SEAT..
I AS ONE FEEL VERY BADLY THAT THE BALL WAS DROPPED BY MY GENERATION.
WE DID NOT TEACH OUR CHILDREN ABOUT THE FIGHT FOR EQUALITY. MAYBE WE FELT THAT IF WE DIDN'T MENTION IT IT WOULD SIMPLY GO AWAY...THINK AGAIN PEOPLE.. YES MARTIN HAD THE DREAM AND MARTIN FOUGHT FOR EQUAL RIGHTS FOR OUR PEOPLE, BUT IT WOULD SEEM THAT WHEN MARTIN WAS KILLED HIS DREAM DIED WITH HIM.
YES WE HAVE PEOPLE THAT SAY THEY ARE NURTURING THE DREAM, BUT THINK ABOUT IT....ARE THEY REALLY??
IT IS NOW ALL ABOUT POLITICS AND POLITICIANS...STARTING WITH JESSIE'S PLOT TO CONFUSE THE PEOPLE BY RUNNING FOR AN OFFICE HE KNEW HE NEVER HAD ANY INTENTIONS OF WINNING!
WAS THAT A PLOT TO EXCITE THE PEOPLE INTO LOOKING THE OTHER WAY WHILE DEMOCRACY CHANGES FACES?
LATER TO HAVE THE BUSH'S TAKE THE OFFICE BY STORM BY DISREGARDING THE FLORIDA VOTE, WHICH WAS REFERRED TO AS THE NIGGA VOTE. WHICH PART OF MARTINS DREAM WAS THAT?
AND IS ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION WHILE OBAMA IS COMING BACK WITH THE SAME PLOT... SURELY OBAMA KNOWS THAT THIS INVITATION HE HAS TO BE AT THE BALL IS ONLY TO CONFUSE THE PEOPLE ONCE AGAIN., AND I 'M SURE THAT HAD THERE BEEN ANYONE ELSE THAT COULD KEEP A WOMAN OUT OF THE CLUB HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN INVITED AT ALL. HOWEVER I WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THAT OBAMA IS AN INTELLIGENT MAN AND IS NOT IGNORANT TO ANY OF THE FACTS. NO I DON'T THINK THAT HE IS BEING BLINDSIDED BY HIS POLITICAL PARTY.
I THINK HE CHOSE TO TAKE THIS WALK FOR POLITICAL GAINS BUT I ALSO REMEMBER ANOTHER YOUNG MAN THAT TOOK THIS WALK AND IT ENDED WITH THE LOSS OF HIS LIFE AS WELL AS HIS BEST FRIEND AND HIS BROTHER. AS STUDY'S HAVE SHOWN THIS WALK HE TOOK WAS TO CONFUSE THE PEOPLE AND EVEN THOUGH HE TURNED THE TABLE FOR A MINUTE OR TWO HE LEARNED QUICKLY THAT IT IS NOT SMART TO TURN ON THE PEOPLE WHO APPOINTED YOU.
NOW I AM NOT BEING A PLAYER HATER WHEN IT COMES TO OBAMA NOT EVEN THE FACT THAT HIS NAME IS SO CLOSE TO OSAMA... BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION AND YEARS OF BUSH ADMINISTRATION
THERE IS NOTHING THAT THAT ADMINISTRATION WON'T DO.
DID ANYONE NOTICE THAT WE ARE BACK TO BEING NIGGA'S AFTER MARTIN FOUGHT SO HARD THAT WE WOULD NOT BE CALLED NIGGA'S BUT WOULD BE CALLED AT LEAST NEGRO'S AND THEN BLACK.
AND PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE TERM AFRICAN AMERICAN COMES FROM, THAT I SHOULD CALL MYSELF AFRICAN AMERICAN NEVER HAVING COME FROM AFRICA AND MOST OF THE AFRICAN'S I'VE MET IS OFFENDED BY AMERICAN BLACKS CALLING THEMSELVES AFRICAN AMERICAN WHEN THEY'VE NEVER BEEN TO AFRICA.
WAS I NOT BORNED IN THIS COUNTRY IN 1958..AND NOT DROPPED FROM ANY SLAVE SHIP...DON'T GET ME WRONG I DO ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT SOMEWHERE ALONG MY FAMILY LINES THERE ARE AFRICAN'S THAT WERE BROUGHT TO JAMAICA AND AMERICA FROM AFRICA AS SLAVES... SO YES, I AM THE DESCENDANT OF SOME AFRICANS... AND BELIEVE YOU ME, I KNOW EXACTLY WHO I AM.
SOME OF YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING AND SOME OF YOU WILL IDENTIFY WITH WHAT I AM SAYING.
BUT IN MY LIFE TIME I HAVE GONE FROM BEING A LITTLE COLORED BABY GIRL, TO A NEGRO 10 YEAR OLD, TO A BLACK TEENAGER, TO BEING A AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN.
WOW!! DO THE MATH BUT DID WE JUST GO AROUND A CIRCLE AND COME BACK TO THE START... THE ONLY THING IS NOW I AM AN AFRICAN AMERICAN...INSTEAD OF AN AFRICAN SLAVE.
BUT THE MOST ASTONSHING PART OF ALL OF THIS TO ME IS THAT NOW MY BROTHERS AND MY SISTERS HAVE ADOPTED THE AMERICAN WAY...AND THEY ARE CALLING THEMSELVES NIGGA'S AND CALLING EACH OTHER NIGGA'S ....
WATCH YOURSELF...THIS COUNTRY HAS NOT OUTGROWN IT'S WAY OF THINKING THEY HAVE JUST PUT A NEW FACE ON IT. WITH POOR PEOPLE BEING THE TARGET OF NEW DAY SLAVERY, WELFARE... YEAH, I KNOW THAT SOME OF YOU THINK I'M CRAZY BUT YOU ARE NOT TOO FAR OUT OF THE LOOP TO KNOW, YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT, BUT NOT THINKING DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESNT HAPPEN...
PICTURE THIS YOU GOT PEOPLE LIVING BELOW POVERY LEVEL, NOW THE GOVERNMENT SAYS WELFARE REFORM...REFORM WHOM THE PEOPLE THAT CANNOT GET AN EDUCATION BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER AND NOBODY IS TRYING TO HELP THEM FIGURE IT OUT... YEAH YOU CAN SAY GET AN EDUCATION, BUT ARE YOU HELPING THEM TO FIGURE OUT HOW???
TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HELP PEOPLE FIND OPPORTUNITIES TO BETTER THEMSELVES...I SAY....GOOD WORKS. YOU ARE LIVING THE DREAM..... TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE STANDING FOR A CAUSE AND NOT FALLING FOR ANYTHING....YOU ARE LIVING THE DREAM.... TO THOSE PEOPLE WHOM EDUCATE THE UNEDUCATED AND GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO HELP SOMEONE REACH THEIR POTENTIAL ....YOU ARE LIVING THE DREAM....TO THOSE OF US TEACHING OUR CHILDREN THAT THERE IS HOPE AND THAT THAT HOPE LIES INSIDE THEM, SHOWING THEM WHERE TO LOOK FOR HELP WHEN THEY ARE TROUBLE, TEACHING THEM EARLY IN LIFE TO FIND THEIR WAY IN TODAY'S SOCIETY, WHETHER IT BE BY PREACHING, TEACHING AND MAKING THE WORLD THEIR CLASSROOM...YOU ARE LIVING THE DREAMS...
I KNOW THAT MARTIN'S DREAM INCLUDED CHILDREN OF ALL NATIONALITIES BEING EQUAL AND SOMEDAY WALKING HAND IN HAND... I REALLY DON'T THINK,...THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF THIS DREAM WAS TO ENSURE YOU ARE ABLE TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER RACE AND THAT BE YOUR BEST. NO I REALLY DON'T THINK SO.
I DON'T THINK HE MEANT THAT YOU HAVING THE RIGHT TO WALK DOWN THE STREET AND OPEN FIRE ON INNOCENT PEOPLE AND JUST TAKE THEIR LIVES THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF HIS DREAM...
I DON'T THINK YOU BEING ABLE TO HOLD DOWN A CORNER AROUND THE CLOCK INSTEAD OF APPLYING YOURSELF A PART OF THAT DREAM..
I DON'T THINK THAT YOU BEING ABLE TO PROTECT WHAT YOU CALL YOUR TERRITORY WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN OWN A HOUSE ON THAT STREET...A PART OF THAT SAME DREAM...
I DON'T THINK HE MEANT THAT WE WOULD MOVE FOR EQUALITY TO BE CONDEMNED BY THE COLORS WE WEAR....KILLED FOR WEARING A CERTAIN COLOR OR OTHER.... THIS SOUNDS LIKE WE ARE TAKING IT BACK TO WHERE WE CAME FROM...IS IT MUCH DIFFERENT BEING FEARFUL WHEN YOU WEAR A CERTAIN COLOR..TO BEING A CERTAIN COLOR???
I THINK IF WE ALL IDENTIFIED WITH THAT DREAM OF DR. KING WE WOULD BE A PEOPLE MORE ADVANCED BUT INSTEAD WE HAVE AGAIN FALLEN BEHIND. THAT'S BECAUSE MY GENERATION DROPPED THE BALL... TOO AFRAID TO STAND FOR A CAUSE...SO OUR CHILDREN ARE NOW FALLING FOR ANYTHING... TO AFFRAID TO ROCK THE BOAT...TOO AFFRAID TO SPEAK AGAINST AN ISSUE EVEN WHEN IT AFFECTS US DIRECTLY OR OUR CHILDREN'S FUTURE.
DO WE EVEN REALIZE THAT THE SO CALLED BLACK MAN IS FAST BECOMING EXTINCT? THE ONLY RACE NOT WILLING TO PRESERVE ITSELF. INSTEAD WE KILL EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE ARE FRUSTRATED WITH SOCIETY AND WHAT IT HAS TO OFFER..
I SAY TO YOU CONFUSED PICK UP A BOOK INSTEAD OF THAT WEAPON....PREFERRABLY THE BIBLE....YOU MIGHT LEARN HOW SURVIVE IN TODAY'S SOCIETY.
I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU HAVE TO FACE, WHO YOU THINK IS IDEAL TO SLEEP WITH OR NON OF THAT, JUST THAT YOU GET AN EDUCATION BEFORE YOU CAN'T. I SEE IT FAST COMING THAT PROGRAMS WILL BE UNAVAILABLE TO YOU IN THE FUTURE....DO YOU REALIZED THAT SOME STATES ARE TRYING TO ELIMINATE HOW THEY ISSUE GRANTS.... AND EDUCATIONAL LOANS WILL SOON BE SO HARD TO AQUIRE THAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING YOU WONT GET ANYTHING....
TO MY GENERATION....... STOP DROPPING THE BALL....PICK IT UP AGAIN BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!! EDUCATE YOUR PEOPLE.
WHEN DID WE STOP BEING OUR BROTHER'S CHILDREN KEEPER?
WHEN DID IT STOP TAKING A VILAGE TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN?
WHEN DID WE START KILLING OUR OWN BABIES?
WHEN DID WE STOP HELPING EACH OTHER?
WHEN DID WE STOP HAVING EACH OTHERS BACK?
AND WHO TOLD US TO PUT DOWN OUR SIGNS AND QUIETING OUR VOICES AND STOP FIGHING FOR WHAT WE BELIEVE?
WHAT IS THE WORLD GOING TO COME TO WHEN THERE ARE MORE OF US STRUGGLING THAN THE FEW THAT HAS OVERCOME
WHEN DID WE STOP HAVING PRIDE IN BEING A STRONG AND NOBLE RACE?
WHEN DID WE START BACKING DOWN FROM OPPOSITION
LAYING DOMICILE AND COVERING OUR FACE?
WHEN ALL THE JESSIES, SHARPETONS, KINGS, AND X'S HAVE ALL DIED AND GONE WHO CAN STEP UP AND TEACH OUR CHILDREN HOW THEY WOULD CARRY THIS FIGHT ON?
WHO WILL BE WILLING TO STAND AND TEACH THE CHILDREN WHAT THE STRUGGLE WAS ABOUT AND HOW TO LIVE THE DREAM AND HOW TO KEEP THE HOPE ALIVE.
I LEAVE YOU NOW ALONE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS.....BUT I LEAVE YOU WITH A FEW MESSAGES OF THOSE HERE AND PASSED ON
REMEMBER THE DREAM AND LIVE IT
KEEP HOPE ALIVE
GIVE US FREE (lol)
WE SHALL OVER COME
BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY
WE TOO ARE A STRONG NATION UNDER GOD
HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING JR'S BIRTHDAY TO YOU ALL
PEACE AND BLESSINGS A GODLY WOMAN
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